Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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