do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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