I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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