No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
