...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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