May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
