my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I lost the right to judge tonight
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
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