I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
