I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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