What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Randomize
