i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
