Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
