Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
