He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
