My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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