Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
