I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
