Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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