dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
He felt like a one man threesome
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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