I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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