i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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