Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
