is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
