3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
