If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
