We won't sleep together?
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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