Got a toothbrush?
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
