You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
