He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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