there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
