....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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