i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
