well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
