My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
