well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
