theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
