My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
