he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize