i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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