hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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