I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
