Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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