I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
