On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
