I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
