if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
