there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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