I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
