soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
It's blow job season.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
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