I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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