what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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