Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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