Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
It's shark week go big or go home
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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