ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
