i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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