Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
