I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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