I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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